Does Hopefulness Still Matter in the Age of the Pandemic?

If you’ve ever scrolled through social media, you’ve probably come across the term “toxic positivity.” This refers to the belief that people should maintain a positive attitude no matter how dire or difficult a situation. While it sounds good on paper, the reason it’s called out as toxic is that it rejects all the negative in place of a happy-go-lucky facade. And if you’ve ever watched Inside Out, we all know how that went.

Like, can you imagine being told to “just stay positive!” in a situation like the pandemic where we’ve dealt with grief, uncertainty, and anxiety? The emotions we feel aren’t something by choice; it’s a result of a situation. And can you imagine hearing someone talk about “resilience” when people have lost their livelihood and loved ones? People are being pushed to their limit, and just because they’ve shown attributes of resiliency, it doesn’t mean we should romanticize their suffering.

So, what then do we do if we can’t “look to the bright side” when things get tough? It brings us to hopefulness! And I know what you’re wondering, “Isn’t that the same thing as optimism?” Well, yes and no. According to the American Psychological Association, optimism is only half of hope. While optimism is a general feeling that things will get better, hope tends to the specific goals. The late Dr. Charles R. Snyder of the University of Kansas and a pioneer of hope research developed a definition of hope based on three components: goals, agency, and pathways. Goals are our desired outcomes. Agency is our ability to make things happen, and pathways are our action plans to achieve our goals. Instead of it being an escape from reality, hope faces reality. It acknowledges the good and bad and persists anyway.

In a time like this, we’re all going to need a little hope. And here are three ways we can cultivate it within ourselves and society as a whole.

Validate your hopelessness

Toxic positivity rejects the negative while hope accepts it.

There’s a lot of sadness and frustration in the world. And sometimes, it can feel like a little too much. But, we must acknowledge those negative feelings and reflect on them. We have to learn to be uncomfy, too, because life is so varied and unexpected—even when we do everything in our power for it to be otherwise. We go through all sorts of situations that are entirely out of our control.

So, unfortunately, ignoring your problems in life doesn’t magically make them disappear (as much as we wish they did!) Instead, what we need to do is to allow ourselves to feel what we feel. Let them happen as they appear. I mean, look at Taylor Swift’s All Too Well; that’s 10 minutes of validation in the hopelessness! We need to accept and embrace the things we’re going through. And in that, we get to learn.

Lean towards positivity

While we can’t escape our feelings, we don’t have to live in them full time.

The thing is, we can’t choose whatever emotions we feel, but we can choose what we do about them. We don’t always have to bask in the negative side of things. And I know that’s easier said than done, but it’s true! It can be exhausting to oversaturate yourself with things that only bring you down.

Do things that bring you joy. For today, why not try filtering news, drawing up new plans, and finding hobbies that are not tied to society’s focus on productivity? I know it sounds borderline toxic positivity but listen here! It’s so easy to get caught up and zero in on our emotions that we forget everything else around us. When really, there are so many things that we can surround ourselves with that can help in the healing process. Our environment plays a role, too, in the mindset we’re in.

After all, we are not the emotions that we hold. And we are not the problems that we face. We are people that go through those situations. And in those moments, we need to take a step back from the negativity once in a while (but not completely abandon them!)

Take action

There’s only so much we can do, but even when it isn’t much, we should still go for it.

The thing about hopelessness is it is not something that only you go through. We might have different experiences and stories, but we can all relate to each other’s vulnerabilities. We can all empathize with what the other is going through. So, the same way you may be feeling hopeless, other people out there feel the same. And this is not to say that what you’re feeling is insignificant. But rather, this gives us a motivation to want to help others too.

The pandemic has brought so many struggles for people, and this is a gentle reminder to check in on our loved ones too. Connect with the people that matter because even just a quick call can do so much for you and your loved one. And in the same way, help others outside of your immediate circle. There are so many people out there who need a helping hand, too, so take action through charitable causes, volunteer work, and advocating for candidates you believe in!

The situation is challenging enough but imagine what we can do if we can bring change to others, especially those who don’t have the means to do so.